This page is dedicated to two blog posts that I have made significant revisions on. The documents beside the text include the content of the revised posts, disregarding the pictures, videos, and links. As you can see, everything that is highlighted in yellow is revision, and the text beside the documents is my explanation of that revision.
Revised Inquiry PostThe first highlighted portion of text you see in this document is the revision I made in my Line of Inquiry. I made this revision because I realized that my original LOI excluded the possibility of political correctness having positive aspects, and it made the claim that political correctness does in fact limit free speech. The next highlighted revision that you see was made because I found my previous statement to be overly dramatic, and this new statement allows my audience to see some possible implications of political correctness that would affect them on a personal level. Following this, I made an addition to my original writing. This addition/revision provides some of my personal experience on the topic that I was discussing at the moment. The next revision provides my audience with some more of my personal experience with this topic, it provides a connection between my current discussion and those I have had in the past, and it provides some explanation to my preconceived opinions, which I would go on to discuss following this revision. The final revision that i made was in the last paragraph of this blog post, and I made this revision to provide my stance on the issue. Prior to this, I stated that I held a stance, but I never clearly stated what that stance was.
|
|
|
Revised Following the Conversation PostThe first major revision that I made within this blog post is an addition to my writing. This added example that I provided shows my audience how some politicians are using, and possibly corrupting, the topic of political correctness within their campaigns. The next highlighted revision provides my audience with a personal example regarding the topic I was discussing, trigger warnings. Considering the event I referenced happened within the class I am writing this for, it truly allows my peers to understand how this topic directly relates to them. I moved on to revise the conclusion of that paragraph by adding an explanation of the paraphrased information I referenced at the end. Before adding this revision, the paraphrased text was simply left unexplained, and I have learned that this is inappropriate in any style of writing. I also changed the word "abused," that was found within my post, to the word "corrupted." I felt that saying political correctness has been corrupted sounded better in the context of the article. The final revision that I made was at the very end of the post. This revision was added in order to explain how the opinions of the individuals discussed throughout the post directly affect the lives of my audience on a daily basis. I felt that by making this revision I would conclude my post on a personal level.
|